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i'm wide awake its morning.

but I can't pretend I need to defend some part of me from you;
I know I've spent some time lying...



"There's another religious program on before I'm supposed to go out with Blair. The man who's talking has gray hair, pink-tinted sunglasses and very wide lapels on his jacket and he's holding a microphone. A neon-lit Christ stands forlornly in the background. "You feel confused. You feel frustrated," he tells me. "You don't know what's going on. That's why you feel hopeless, helpless. That's why you feel there is no way out of the situation. But Jesus will come. He will come through the eye of that television screen. Jesus will put a roadblock in your life so that you can turn around and He's gonna do it for you now. Heavenly Father, You will set the captive free. They, who are in bondage, teach them. Celebrate the Lord. Let this be a night of Deliverance. Tell Jesus, 'Forgive me of my sins', and then you may feel the joy that is unspeakable. May your cup overflow. In Jesus' name, Amen...Hallelujah!"

I wait for something to happen. I sit there for close to an hour. Nothing does. I get up, do the rest of the coke that's in my closet..."

An excerpt from Less Than Zero

I need a fix 'cos i am going down...
let's eat our last supper at it, like a hospital plate.

you are still a homosexual.
funny, sad, funny, sad.
some name tag embroidered with the word "SPECIAL"?
paradise with a capital B.

and oh, hi to h_p@hotmail.com. figured who you were when i went on msn :)

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well i dno who h_p is. tell me? he/.she tagged me too.

and oh yea, where the fuck are you dammit. i dun wna call you out t club i want t call you out. WHERE ARE YOU DAMMIT. why the hell dun you ANSWER my phone calls/ REPLY my msgs.

wah lao ey casan.

Mr. Ponder misses pondering with you on stone slabs, staring at starless skies. ):

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